That catch up post felt good. But there was a reason I wanted to post, and it has to do with another change in myself in the past seven years.
Anxiety.
To be honest, I've always been somewhat anxious as a teacher. I was never good at being open to judgement, especially when all I try to do is what I think is right. However, in the past couple of years, I've been feeling my anxiety rise.
Whether it be that one kid a few years ago that I had to remove from my class because he was just a straight-dick, or letting my eyes "linger" (read: making eye contact) with a student bullying them with making my expectations clear, or possibly being on the hook for thousands of dollars because the club you advise used four pictures from the internet without permission, my anxiety has grown.
I could go on more. But as I was implying in my last post, I am using these first post to vomit out all my thoughts until I can focus on one topic.
Anyway, as I was writing this, I decided to do some research on anxiety in teachers, and realized that I'm not unique in my experience. In doing so, I've calmed down a bit (for now).
If you have anxiety, maybe try reading this, by Douglas A. Berstein, professor of psychology, author, and member of the North America Colleges and Teachers of Agriculture (NACTA). Obviously he makes mention of teaching agriculture students, but I still felt it applicable to my teaching. The part that especially made me understand my feelings were valid, but illogical were the myths of teaching on page three (five if you use the numbers on the document).
Wednesday, January 16, 2019
Long time, no post (II)
I think I've already made a title like this. If not, oh well. Let's just get to business and catch you all up on the happenings since I last posted on this site (2012??).
I still teach in the suburbs of the Bay Area, Northern California. This will be my eighth year now, and, for the most part, I still love where I work. I'll get to that later on.
I think the first thing that I should mention is that since 2011, I've lost a good amount of weight. Overall, I had lost 200lbs from when I was biggest. And I know you are probably thinking "Wow, that's cool, but what does this have to do with teaching?"
I'll tell you.
It has boosted my confidence ten-fold, and it has helped my teaching in ways that I wouldn't have imagined. There is a lot that I think plays into it, but by being happy with myself and reminding myself of how hard I worked, I'm much less willing to appease other people. I make my expectations clear, and if my students don't meet them, they aren't surprised.
Another thing that has changed in my career are the subjects I'm teaching. Journalism is no longer class; it's now a club. This is mostly due to low interest in signing up for the class. The students seem to prefer it as a club so they can take other classes that boost their GPA. It's slightly annoying in that it means I have less control over the end-product since the kids aren't worried about a grade. This is lowering my passion for this. Secret: I'm thinking of resigning my position. Not just because of the lack of members and interest, but because I think my lack of passion is hindering the evolution that the newspaper can make.
Still along with subjects I'm teaching: I'm still teaching College Prep Seniors, but I am no longer teaching sophomores, which is bittersweet for me. I feel like I finally had a solid curriculum in place, and now I can't teach it. I'm actually afraid it's going to get ruined without me on the team. But to be fair, I think I was the only one committed to following through with what the team decided. That's the sweet part. I was actually very frustrated last year, as everyone started doing their own thing when we had decided on a plan the summer before school started.
The seniors are always a challenge in getting them to commit to a rigorous course, but I get through it every year. Shakespeare is always hard, but having a class that tries, makes it more fun, even if they aren't the best analysts of the bard. Last year was one of the hardest classes to teach, but I'd be unfair to blame it all on that senior class. There was a lot going on, including a new classroom environment for me, that made it difficult. But I got through it.
What else? Hmmm. The principal that hired me retired a couple of years ago. We got almost all new assistant principals, and one really awesome one this year.
The district office and board has been frustrating (more than usual) the past couple of years. Two years in a row now, we've had to fight for a meager raise. It just seems like we are being under valued.
I think I'll end it here. My apologies for the lack of structure here. My hope is to write more often so that I don't have to spend so much energy filling in, and more time on writing about focused topics that I come across in teaching. I think I'll try to be mostly anonymous still, so I can frank, but if this goes right, I probably won't be for long.
I still teach in the suburbs of the Bay Area, Northern California. This will be my eighth year now, and, for the most part, I still love where I work. I'll get to that later on.
I think the first thing that I should mention is that since 2011, I've lost a good amount of weight. Overall, I had lost 200lbs from when I was biggest. And I know you are probably thinking "Wow, that's cool, but what does this have to do with teaching?"
I'll tell you.
It has boosted my confidence ten-fold, and it has helped my teaching in ways that I wouldn't have imagined. There is a lot that I think plays into it, but by being happy with myself and reminding myself of how hard I worked, I'm much less willing to appease other people. I make my expectations clear, and if my students don't meet them, they aren't surprised.
Another thing that has changed in my career are the subjects I'm teaching. Journalism is no longer class; it's now a club. This is mostly due to low interest in signing up for the class. The students seem to prefer it as a club so they can take other classes that boost their GPA. It's slightly annoying in that it means I have less control over the end-product since the kids aren't worried about a grade. This is lowering my passion for this. Secret: I'm thinking of resigning my position. Not just because of the lack of members and interest, but because I think my lack of passion is hindering the evolution that the newspaper can make.
Still along with subjects I'm teaching: I'm still teaching College Prep Seniors, but I am no longer teaching sophomores, which is bittersweet for me. I feel like I finally had a solid curriculum in place, and now I can't teach it. I'm actually afraid it's going to get ruined without me on the team. But to be fair, I think I was the only one committed to following through with what the team decided. That's the sweet part. I was actually very frustrated last year, as everyone started doing their own thing when we had decided on a plan the summer before school started.
The seniors are always a challenge in getting them to commit to a rigorous course, but I get through it every year. Shakespeare is always hard, but having a class that tries, makes it more fun, even if they aren't the best analysts of the bard. Last year was one of the hardest classes to teach, but I'd be unfair to blame it all on that senior class. There was a lot going on, including a new classroom environment for me, that made it difficult. But I got through it.
What else? Hmmm. The principal that hired me retired a couple of years ago. We got almost all new assistant principals, and one really awesome one this year.
The district office and board has been frustrating (more than usual) the past couple of years. Two years in a row now, we've had to fight for a meager raise. It just seems like we are being under valued.
I think I'll end it here. My apologies for the lack of structure here. My hope is to write more often so that I don't have to spend so much energy filling in, and more time on writing about focused topics that I come across in teaching. I think I'll try to be mostly anonymous still, so I can frank, but if this goes right, I probably won't be for long.
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